But the Question Remains: Who Killed John Lennon

Natasha says:
owen!
you back!
good

aero` says:
owen!
yes I be

Natasha says:
*salutes*

aero` says:
*salutes back*
that's what you do when you are in army right

Natasha says:
hahaha yeah

aero` says:
or you don't salute back
chalo kar he letey hain salute

Natasha says:
no you do salute - oh no, wait that depends
but forget it

aero` says:
haina?
thought si

Natasha says:
forgotten?

aero` says:
what?
is this conversation going to be all questions?

Natasha says:
is it?

aero` says:
Are we starting on an another epic conversation?

Natasha says:
what are the odds?

aero` says:
1 in a half?

Natasha says:
right you are, but who knows for sure?
did you measure the odds with the right instrument?

aero` says:
Didn't you mention losing the instruments in your garden's waterfall yesterday?

Natasha says:
ahhh... but i left some in the lab, didn't i?
did you have a look around?

aero` says:
I was supposed to?

Natasha says:
did i not tell you?
oh dear, what if i was supposed to bring them back from the bottom of the stream?

aero` says:
are you planning to dive back in any time soon?

Natasha says:
i am, but is the stream still there?

aero` says:
you forgot to talk to the stream guy?

Natasha says:
stream guy?
have you seen him around lately?

aero` says:
I think he came this wednesday didn't he?
we decided to apply a stream keeper remember?

Natasha says:
i thought that was back in the middle ages?

aero` says:
so we are now living in middle earth?
I thought we were living with the elves. no?

Natasha says:
i thought we were living with the jews?
or maybe they are the same?
we should ask the stream guy. reckon he'd know?

aero` says:
but don't elves have longish hair?
the stream guy speaks?

Natasha says:
didn't the barber say the stream guy took their hair?

aero` says:
but isn't the barber a complete liar?
he was mentioned in the 9/11 commission report wasn't he?

Natasha says:
what 9/11?

aero` says:
when the eagle molested the dark lord. I thought you knew?

Natasha says:
no way?
the eagle?

aero` says:
exactly as is mentioned in our lab report I think, right?

Natasha says:
oh dear oh dear oh dear... but i thought i locked them in, didn't i?

aero` says:
you did?

Natasha says:
did i say so?

aero` says:
but you think you said that earlier no?

Natasha says:
did i tell you i suffered from amnesia?
back in the middle ages?
and from the death syndrome?

aero` says:
the black death?

Natasha says:
death, in which people die... don't you guys have it there where you are?

aero` says:
the tele weirdos made you believe that?

Natasha says:
up here it's all dark... did they tell you they had their satellites here?

aero` says:
they burned one didn't they?
you saw the bonfire?

Natasha says:
was it a black fire?

aero` says:
meteor attack?
all around me were black diamonds.. remember the diamond mine inside the waterfall?
we aren't supposed to mention we mine black diamonds?

Natasha says:
i dunno, was that after i lost the instruments?

aero` says:
but the garder said you remembered the diamond poking you. your head?

Natasha says:
did you see him with my instruments?
i lost them there and then, did you see them with him?
or him with them?

aero` says:
does it matter?
do you miss your instruments more or the gardner?
or the barber?

Natasha says:
the barber - you know why?

aero` says:
tell me?

Natasha says:
because he has the hair and the gardner and the instruments - you figure the gardner stole my instruments, don't you?
and you know the gardner needs the barber?
and the barber needs the hair?

aero` says:
to donate to the elves?

Natasha says:
and so he needs the scissors?

aero` says:
so that we can free them from the jews?

Natasha says:
and so he takes them from the gardner?
who took them from my instruments - you figure?

aero` says:
what if he encounters the guitarist on his way?
the pianist?

Natasha says:
oh dear, the guitarist... no no no, don't tell me, is he still alive?
are we doing it for the heck of it or for the life of me?

aero` says:
you tried to murder him?

Natasha says:
jesus now this is telepathy - how did YOU know?

aero` says:
are we going ahead with the plan you mean?
you don't remember you talk in your telepathetic sleep?

Natasha says:
amnesia, remember?


aero` says:
owen?

aero` says:
the demon barber of fleet street?

Natasha says:
why didn't i think of that?

aero` says:
of owen or the demon barber?

Natasha says:
the latter?

aero` says:
yeah?

aero` says:
i loved it did you?

Natasha says:
you loved it or me?

aero` says:
why would I love you?

aero` says:
are we sure of our sexuality?

Natasha says:
LOL!

aero` says:
oh?

aero` says:
now I sort of get the previous part

aero` says:
yes you loved it? :P

Natasha says:
hahaha... it's a good thing you got it just *now*:P. oh yeah it was really good, because of depp's acting, no?

aero` says:
but of course.. esp the singing hmm?

Natasha says:
or the killing?

aero` says:
the end?

aero` says:
have you watched the previous sweeny todd?

Natasha says:
there is a previous sweeney todd?

aero` says:
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have watched it were it not a Tim Burton movie, would you have?

Natasha says:
(normal questions sound so inappropriate in this conversation, don't they? :P)

aero` says:
(hahaha)

aero` says:
ahh yup, and it has that nicholson guy.. the departed one right?

aero` says:
(I guess that means us and normal don't go together)

Natasha says:
jack nicholson - the joker, eh? think hollywood improved on both the joker and mr. todd,
then, didn't they?

Natasha says:
You have (1) new Questions Of The Day Request from your friends. Your friends want to learn all about you! moments ago - now isn't THIS hilarious? :P

aero` says:
who is the questioner? :P

aero` says:
it is it is(hypothetical question mark)

Natasha says:
i don't know... you think they're tapping this conversation?

Natasha says:
is there anyone else around here besides you and me, eh?

aero` says:
ohmg.. what do we do?

aero` says:
gay msn?

Natasha says:
hellooo, is anybody heree?? *typical hollywood calling-out-in-an-empty-house-before-a-murderer-finds-you-routine like*

Natasha says:
jesus, did something creek? did you hear that?

aero` says:
we're now in the hallowed mansion of gay msn?

Natasha says:
do you think gay msn wants to kill us?

aero` says:
that reminds me of charles manson *shudders*(?)

aero` says:
if we keep on calling it gay maybe, don't you think?

aero` says:
I hear they tried to witch hunt his gayness back to Salem.. heard the rumours?

Natasha says:
but that reminds me of the murderer in silence of the lambs - too many gay murderers around, now, isn't there? :S

Natasha says:
no i haven't, would you like to tell me?

aero` says:
there was a gay murderer in silence of the lambs?

aero` says:
do you want to know?

Natasha says:
do you think i know who charles manson is?

aero` says:
do you know who sharon tate was?

Natasha says:
was she a gay murderer too?

Natasha says:
was she a she at all? :P

aero` says:
don't you know about charles manson then?

aero` says:
haha?

aero` says:
she was the one who was murdered didn't you know?

aero` says:
do you know I think the Beatles wanted to lead to the end of the world?

Natasha says:
but i think i've heard the name of sharon tate - but the amnesia, remember?

aero` says:
the actress remember?

aero` says:
wife of Roman Polanski?

aero` says:
you don't like the Beatles do you?

Natasha says:
oh yeah i remember, actually, but don't you think she's dead too long to still be on the
news? :P

aero` says:
but I'm trying to prove a connection between her and the Beatles, don't you see?

Natasha says:
oh i did not - do you think the beatles wanted to kill her?

Natasha says:
and she killed lennon then?

aero` says:
the Beatles had this agenda to bring out the devil's child that was nurturing in Tate's womb

aero` says:
BUT Manson found out and killed her.. but that isn't exactly how the world remembers it
now does it?

Natasha says:
if the world's full of people like me, don't you think the world doesn't remember quite
clearly at all? :P

Natasha says:
do you think the beatles knew what sharon tate had for dinner?

Natasha says:
they seemed to have quite an eye for what was going on in her abdomin, no?

aero` says:
I distinctly recall them campaigning against burritos, do you?

aero` says:
sure did those beatles huh?

Natasha
but the question remains - who killed john lennon then?

aero` says:
imagine?

aero` says:
I know! The yellow submarine, hmm?

Natasha says:
what if the "devil" managed to survive anyway?

Natasha says:
and he killed john lennon?

Natasha says:
just for having the thought?

aero` says:
you think so?

aero` says:
I think the devil committed suicide in the yellow submarine, Could be right?

Natasha says:
could be... maybe aaron lennon knows?

Natasha says:
since he's a lennon too?

Natasha says:
do you think lenin and lennon were relations? since they both knew the devil well?

aero` says:
you know there is definite potential there. lets ask stalin shall we?

Natasha says:
have you met stalin recently?

Natasha says:
or did he runaway with the stream guy?

Natasha says:
have you ran away with the stream guy?

aero` says:
(lol. no I went to make tea)

aero` says:
but I heard the stream guy ran away with the barber's girl friend. Why do I hear so
much?

Chingari Notes: The Importance of Being Earnest

For the Lit. Majors, here is a 5 minute sure-fire way to understand Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest

Character List: Don't bother

Act I:
- Algernon and Jack are dandies.
- Lane is a servant who secretly hates Algy and wants to marry Lady Bracknell.
- Lady Bracknell is pompous and does not approve of babies being found in handbags.
- Gwendolen will become just like Lady Bracknell in a hundred and fifty years.
- Algernon believes "divorces are made in Heaven" so really what is the success rate of his and Cecily's marriage?
- Algernon is wealthy but he doesn't know why.
- Jack wishes Algernon would shut up.
- Lane wishes the whole family would go in exile to Ireland.

Act II:
- Cecily should marry the "tirra lirra" Sir Lancelot
- I reiterate point number 1
- Algernon falls in love with Cecily within minutes of meeting her. (And people say love like it means somthing. Pfft)
- Dr. Chasuble draws his metaphors from everywhere; flowers, trees, anatomy, manor houses and churches. He is only one step behind Fra Lippo Lipi.
- Black doesn't suit Jack.
- Cecily can be a pain in the butt.
- Miss Prism should not be left alone with three volume novels.
- Dr. Chasuble wishes Miss Prism would understand his metaphors so he doesn't have to hang anywhere anymore.

Act III:
- I'll comment on this portion if I manage to read it before next year.


Themes:
- Victorian society and its hypochondriac values
- Dandism
- Appearance vs. Reality
- Psychological problems faced by Lane
- Psychological problems faced by Lane that affect Algernon
- Humour, wit, irony, and epigrams used to abuse love

Motif and Symbols: wohi wohii

The Two Ways of Going about in Life

There are two ways of going about in life – going about, I say – and you notice, I’m sure – as opposed to, say, “moving forward”, or, “advancing”, or, “proceeding”, or, “travelling”, or… “moving forward”, “going ahead”, or, “proceeding”, or, say, “advancing”, or, more relevant synonyms of the given, like, “going ahead”, or, “travelling”, or, “moving forward”, or others like “advancing”, or, “proceeding”, “going ahead”, or… “moving forward” – perhaps I have mentioned that before – or… well, any other words – innumerable words that I might’ve been able to recount right here, but won’t be able to, sadly, due to lack of time – of the kind of such misleading verbs that tend to imply and might – surely – lead you to believe – consciously or unconsciously, knowingly or unknowingly, willingly or unwillingly, wantingly or unwantingly, desirously or undesirously, easily or uneasily… – it would, I say, successfully lead you to believe – …smilingly or unsmilingly, irritably or unirritably, frowningly or unfrowningly, sullenly or unsullenly – …eventually… – grammatically or ungrammatically – lead you, I insist, in time, in its due time, it would make you believe – timely or untimely, surely or unsurely, harshly or unharshly, farcely or unfarcely… slyly, flyly, highly or shyly… kylie… mylie… -ily… - it would lead you to believe – I would have insisted right here, but, sadly, i would not be able to, due to… as you see… lack of time – ahem, yes, where were we? Yes, would lead you all to believe… that, we, human beings… the all powerful, the all superior, the all embracing, the all… - killing? Yes, that would be true, but no… - loving! Yes… we, the most beautiful creation of God Almighty, The Superior – eh? Him, too? – we, the most powerful creation of God, we, the all loving, the all hating, the all doing, the all eating, the all spitting, the all mating, the all waiting, the all bootlegging, the all dodging, the all meddling, the all weddling, the all peddling, the all fiddling, the all poaching, the all frauding (and, yet, all whining) – yes, we, humans – humans, you see? Humans! h u m a n s, HUMANS, human beings!, H U M A N beings, humans! – “THE… grrreaatest… crrrreeeaation… of God!”, the great-great-great-great-great-great… (multiplied by “y” – since I would not be able to pronounce enough “great”s here, of lack of… – where “y” is a variable inversely proportional to the strength of your belief in Darwinism) grandchildren of the – in turn – all powerful, all embracing, all superior… all… loving, spitting, eating… killing, smelling, pulling (and, yet – ever seen a monkey whine? No? You haven’t, of course! Theory of Evolution negated here and now, my lord – what evolution? There’s no evolution, don’t you see? I rest my case!) APES! – *sound effects* the likes of which were played by ancient Hollywood ad-makers following the announcement of the names of the likes of Clarke Gable and Marlon Brando… not to forget the likes of Rita Hayworth and Katherine Hepburn and… ah… Vivien Leigh, and – ahem, yes, where were we? We, the human beings… great-great into y… race of the Apes… Clarke Gable… Vivien Leigh – ah, yes… continuing… are here, on this… our “Mother Earth”, beautifully and elegantly – beautiful she had to be to get that respect, didn’t she? Now who would call that red rock of a planet Mama Mars? Huh? – yes, beautifully and elegantly dressed in green… well, it may seem green – as has been made wrongly popular over the years – but, in fact, it is a combination of a lot of colours including dirty brown, clear white and bluish blue – giving Mother Earth a distinctly… earthy look. Now, there, we see Mother Earth arriving on the red carpet... Mother Earth, is that Gucci you are wearing?...

Oh, you guys still here. So, yes, where were we? Green Mother Earth… yes, indeed, green and fertile… green grass, y’ see... and brawn earth – upon which growet de fruits dat we hath attainet by de hai’d woiketh we done awn de fields – given in ow-ver taim, too, maind yew – over de centuries – rait he’e, a te’ll yew, we do woiketh hardeth, Faader, we woik – by de sweatet of dine browet! Dine-? Ahemmem, I mean TH-ine? No, no… Ahem, excuse me, mine, yeah, mine… mine… mine… mine… m i n e… M I N E… MINE! It’s MINE! You hear that, you infidel?! Miiiiine! “GO, GO, GO, MINE, MINE, MINE!!” (Yosemite Sam? Looney Tunes? Anyone? Go away….)

God, lost track again… ah… sweat of brow… hmm… Papa Mars… green Earth – oh, yeah, Mother Earth! Yes, yes, yes, we, humans… y into x… Planet of the Apes… War of the Worlds… Lord of the Flies… Wife of the Above… City of Djinns… Grapes of Wrath… time of night… height of plight… sight of white… beard of the Singh… Singh is King… under the wing… Name, Place, Animal, Thing… thing… t h i n g… thing? THING! THINNGG! THING, MINE, THING! MINE! MINE! MINE, THING, MINE! GO! GO! GO! *STOMP!, STOMP!, STOMP!* Mine… thing… Oo, Oo, Oo… banana, banana! Monkey loooove banana! Monkey want banana... monkey eat banana... monkey SNATCH banana!...

Excuse. So, ahem. Where were we? Yes… we, monkeys… race of the human beings… red rock Mother Earth… misleading verbs… “move forward”, “advance”, “proceed”… “evolve”… Clarke Gable, Marlon Brando… Looney Tunes… Wife of the Above… Planet of the Apes…

Ain’t going nowhere – don’t you see?

*Manic Laughter*

- JAM

Screwdriver Volume IV

Those of you who are still reading the blog, sorry for the long hiatus. The ranters here came across a strange phenomenon that un-abled them to blog regularly any longer. You might've come across it as well: university.

Anyway, this update is the result of the Mod and another "bhatka" hoa intellectual. Jam and MJay are here to play.

Jam says:

owen!
you back!
good

M Jay says:
owen!
yes I be

Jam says:
*salutes*

M Jay says:
*salutes back*
that's what you do when you are in army right

Jam says:
hahaha yeah

M Jay says:
or you don't salute back
chalo kar he letey hain salute

Jam says:
no you do salute - oh no, wait that depends
but forget it

M Jay says:
haina?
Thought si

Jam says:
forgotten?

M Jay says:
what?
is this conversation going to be all questions?

Jam says:
is it?

M Jay says:
Are we starting on an another epic conversation?

Jam says:
what are the odds?

M Jay says:
1 in a half?

Jam says:
right you are, but who knows for sure?
did you measure the odds with the right instrument?

M Jay says:
Didn't you mention losing the instruments in your garden's waterfall yesterday?

Jam says:
ahhh... but i left some in the lab, didn't i?
did you have a look around?

M Jay says:
I was supposed to?

Jam says:
did i not tell you?
oh dear, what if i was supposed to bring them back from the bottom of the stream?

M Jay says:
are you planning to dive back in any time soon?

Jam says:
i am, but is the stream still there?

M Jay says:
you forgot to talk to the stream guy?

Jam says:
stream guy?
have you seen him around lately?

M Jay says:
I think he came this Wednesday didn't he?
we decided to apply a stream keeper remember?

Jam says:
i thought that was back in the middle ages?

M Jay says:
so we are now living in middle earth?
I thought we were living with the elves. no?

Jam says:
I thought we were living with the Jews?
or maybe they are the same?
we should ask the stream guy. reckon he'd know?

M Jay says:
but don't elves have longish hair?
the stream guy speaks?

Jam says:
didn't the barber say the stream guy took their hair?

M Jay says:
but isn't the barber a complete liar?
he was mentioned in the 9/11 commission report wasn't he?

Jam says:
what 9/11?

M Jay says:
when the eagle molested the dark lord. I thought you knew?

Jam says:
no way?
the eagle?

M Jay says:
exactly as is mentioned in our lab report I think, right?

Jam says:
oh dear oh dear oh dear... but i thought i locked them in, didn't i?

M Jay says:
you did?

Jam says:
did i say so?

M Jay says:
but you think you said that earlier no?

Jam says:
did i tell you i suffered from amnesia?
back in the middle ages?
and from the death syndrome?

M Jay says:
the black death?

Jam says:
death, in which people die... don't you guys have it there where you are?

M Jay says:
the tele weirdos made you believe that?

Jam says:
up here it's all dark... did they tell you they had their satellites here?

M Jay says:
they burned one didn't they?
you saw the bonfire?

Jam says:
was it a black fire?

M Jay says:
meteor attack?
All around me were black diamonds.. Remember the diamond mine inside the waterfall?
we aren't supposed to mention we mine black diamonds?

Jam says:
I dunno, was that after i lost the instruments?

M Jay says:
but the gardener said you remembered the diamond poking you. your head?

Jam says:
did you see him with my instruments?
i lost them there and then, did you see them with him?
or him with them?

M Jay says:
does it matter?
do you miss your instruments more or the gardener?
Or the barber?

Jam says:
the barber - you know why?

M Jay says:
tell me?

Jam says:
because he has the hair and the gardener and the instruments - you figure the gardener stole my instruments, don't you?
And you know the gardener needs the barber?
And the barber needs the hair?

M Jay says:
to donate to the elves?

Jam says:
and so he needs the scissors?

M Jay says:
so that we can free them from the Jews?

Jam says:
and so he takes them from the gardener?
Who took them from my instruments - you figure?

M Jay says:
what if he encounters the guitarist on his way?
The pianist?

Jam says:
oh dear, the guitarist... no no no, don't tell me, is he still alive?
Are we doing it for the heck of it or for the life of me?

M Jay says:
you tried to murder him?

Jam says:
jesus now this is telepathy - how did YOU know?

M Jay says:
are we going ahead with the plan you mean?
you don't remember you talk in your telepathetic sleep?

Jam says:
amnesia, remember?


M Jay says:
owen?

M Jay says:
the demon barber of fleet street?

Jam says:
why didn't i think of that?

M Jay says:
of owen or the demon barber?

Jam says:
the latter?

M Jay says:
yeah?

M Jay says:
I loved it did you?

Jam says:
you loved it or me?

M Jay says:
why would I love you?

M Jay says:
are we sure of our sexuality?

Jam says:
LOL!

M Jay says:
oh?

M Jay says:
now I sort of get the previous part

M Jay says:
yes you loved it? :P

Jam says:
hahaha... it's a good thing you got it just *now*:P. oh yeah it was really good, because of depp's acting, no?

M Jay says:
but of course.. esp the singing hmm?

Jam says:
or the killing?

M Jay says:
the end?

M Jay says:
have you watched the previous Sweeny Todd?

Jam says:

there is a previous Sweeney Todd?

M Jay says:
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have watched it were it not a Tim Burton movie, would you have?

Jam says:
(normal questions sound so inappropriate in this conversation, don't they? :P)

M Jay says:
(hahaha)

M Jay says:
ahh yup, and it has that Nicholson guy.. The departed one right?

M Jay says:
(I guess that means us and normal don't go together)

Jam says:
Jack Nicholson - the joker, eh? Think Hollywood improved on both the joker and Mr. Todd, then, didn't they?

Jam says:
You have (1) new Questions Of The Day Request from your friends. Your friends want to learn all about you! moments ago - now isn't THIS hilarious? :P

M Jay says:
who is the questioner? :P

M Jay says:
it is it is(hypothetical question mark)

Jam says:
i don't know... you think they're tapping this conversation?

Jam says:
is there anyone else around here besides you and me, eh?

M Jay says:
ohmg.. What do we do?

M Jay says:
gay msn?

Jam says:
hellooo, is anybody heree?? *typical Hollywood calling-out-in-an-empty-house-before-a-murderer-finds-you-routine like*

Jam says:
Jesus, did something creek? Did you hear that?

M Jay says:
we're now in the hallowed mansion of gay msn?

Jam says:
do you think gay msn wants to kill us?

M Jay says:
that reminds me of Charles Manson *shudders*(?)

M Jay says:
if we keep on calling it gay maybe, don't you think?

M Jay says:
I hear they tried to witch hunt his gayness back to Salem.. Heard the rumours?

Jam says:
but that reminds me of the murderer in silence of the lambs - too many gay murderers around, now, isn't there? :S

Jam says:
no i haven't, would you like to tell me?

M Jay says:
there was a gay murderer in silence of the lambs?

M Jay says:
do you want to know?

Jam says:
do you think I know who Charles Manson is?

M Jay says:
do you know who Sharon Tate was?

Jam says:
was she a gay murderer too?

Jam says:
was she a she at all? :P

M Jay says:
don't you know about Charles Manson then?

M Jay says:
haha?

M Jay says:
she was the one who was murdered didn't you know?

M Jay says:
do you know I think the Beatles wanted to lead to the end of the world?

Jam says:
but I think I’ve heard the name of Sharon Tate - but the amnesia, remember?

M Jay says:
the actress remember?

M Jay says:
wife of Roman Polanski?

M Jay says:
you don't like the Beatles do you?

Jam says:
oh yeah i remember, actually, but don't you think she's dead too long to still be on the
news? :P

M Jay says:
but I'm trying to prove a connection between her and the Beatles, don't you see?

Jam says:
oh i did not - do you think the Beatles wanted to kill her?

Jam says:
and she killed Lennon then?

M Jay says:
the Beatles had this agenda to bring out the devil's child that was nurturing in Tate's womb

M Jay says:
BUT Manson found out and killed her.. but that isn't exactly how the world remembers it now does it?

Jam says:
if the world's full of people like me, don't you think the world doesn't remember quite
clearly at all? :P

Jam says:
do you think the Beatles knew what Sharon Tate had for dinner?

Jam says:
they seemed to have quite an eye for what was going on in her abdomen, no?

M Jay says:
I distinctly recall them campaigning against burritos, do you?

M Jay says:
sure did those Beatles huh?

Jam says:
but the question remains - who killed John Lennon then?

M Jay says:
imagine?

M Jay says:
I know! The yellow submarine, hmm?

Jam says:
what if the "devil" managed to survive anyway?

Jam says:
and he killed john Lennon?

Jam says:
just for having the thought?

M Jay says:
you think so?

M Jay says:
I think the devil committed suicide in the yellow submarine, Could be right?

Jam says:
could be... maybe Aaron Lennon knows?

Jam says:
since he's a Lennon too?

Jam says:
do you think Lenin and Lennon were relations? Since they both knew the devil well?

M Jay says:
you know there is definite potential there. Let’s ask Stalin shall we?

Jam says:
have you met Stalin recently?

Jam says:
or did he runaway with the stream guy?

Jam says:
have you run away with the stream guy?

M Jay says:
(lol. no I went to make tea)

M Jay says:
but I heard the stream guy ran away with the barber's girl friend. Why do I hear so
much?