There are two ways of going about in life – going about, I say – and you notice, I’m sure – as opposed to, say, “moving forward”, or, “advancing”, or, “proceeding”, or, “travelling”, or… “moving forward”, “going ahead”, or, “proceeding”, or, say, “advancing”, or, more relevant synonyms of the given, like, “going ahead”, or, “travelling”, or, “moving forward”, or others like “advancing”, or, “proceeding”, “going ahead”, or… “moving forward” – perhaps I have mentioned that before – or… well, any other words – innumerable words that I might’ve been able to recount right here, but won’t be able to, sadly, due to lack of time – of the kind of such misleading verbs that tend to imply and might – surely – lead you to believe – consciously or unconsciously, knowingly or unknowingly, willingly or unwillingly, wantingly or unwantingly, desirously or undesirously, easily or uneasily… – it would, I say, successfully lead you to believe – …smilingly or unsmilingly, irritably or unirritably, frowningly or unfrowningly, sullenly or unsullenly – …eventually… – grammatically or ungrammatically – lead you, I insist, in time, in its due time, it would make you believe – timely or untimely, surely or unsurely, harshly or unharshly, farcely or unfarcely… slyly, flyly, highly or shyly… kylie… mylie… -ily… - it would lead you to believe – I would have insisted right here, but, sadly, i would not be able to, due to… as you see… lack of time – ahem, yes, where were we? Yes, would lead you all to believe… that, we, human beings… the all powerful, the all superior, the all embracing, the all… - killing? Yes, that would be true, but no… - loving! Yes… we, the most beautiful creation of God Almighty, The Superior – eh? Him, too? – we, the most powerful creation of God, we, the all loving, the all hating, the all doing, the all eating, the all spitting, the all mating, the all waiting, the all bootlegging, the all dodging, the all meddling, the all weddling, the all peddling, the all fiddling, the all poaching, the all frauding (and, yet, all whining) – yes, we, humans – humans, you see? Humans! h u m a n s, HUMANS, human beings!, H U M A N beings, humans! – “THE… grrreaatest… crrrreeeaation… of God!”, the great-great-great-great-great-great… (multiplied by “y” – since I would not be able to pronounce enough “great”s here, of lack of… – where “y” is a variable inversely proportional to the strength of your belief in Darwinism) grandchildren of the – in turn – all powerful, all embracing, all superior… all… loving, spitting, eating… killing, smelling, pulling (and, yet – ever seen a monkey whine? No? You haven’t, of course! Theory of Evolution negated here and now, my lord – what evolution? There’s no evolution, don’t you see? I rest my case!) APES! – *sound effects* the likes of which were played by ancient Hollywood ad-makers following the announcement of the names of the likes of Clarke Gable and Marlon Brando… not to forget the likes of Rita Hayworth and Katherine Hepburn and… ah… Vivien Leigh, and – ahem, yes, where were we? We, the human beings… great-great into y… race of the Apes… Clarke Gable… Vivien Leigh – ah, yes… continuing… are here, on this… our “Mother Earth”, beautifully and elegantly – beautiful she had to be to get that respect, didn’t she? Now who would call that red rock of a planet Mama Mars? Huh? – yes, beautifully and elegantly dressed in green… well, it may seem green – as has been made wrongly popular over the years – but, in fact, it is a combination of a lot of colours including dirty brown, clear white and bluish blue – giving Mother Earth a distinctly… earthy look. Now, there, we see Mother Earth arriving on the red carpet... Mother Earth, is that Gucci you are wearing?...
Oh, you guys still here. So, yes, where were we? Green Mother Earth… yes, indeed, green and fertile… green grass, y’ see... and brawn earth – upon which growet de fruits dat we hath attainet by de hai’d woiketh we done awn de fields – given in ow-ver taim, too, maind yew – over de centuries – rait he’e, a te’ll yew, we do woiketh hardeth, Faader, we woik – by de sweatet of dine browet! Dine-? Ahemmem, I mean TH-ine? No, no… Ahem, excuse me, mine, yeah, mine… mine… mine… mine… m i n e… M I N E… MINE! It’s MINE! You hear that, you infidel?! Miiiiine! “GO, GO, GO, MINE, MINE, MINE!!” (
God, lost track again… ah… sweat of brow… hmm… Papa Mars… green Earth – oh, yeah, Mother Earth! Yes, yes, yes, we, humans… y into x… Planet of the Apes… War of the Worlds… Lord of the Flies… Wife of the Above… City of
Excuse. So, ahem. Where were we? Yes… we, monkeys… race of the human beings… red rock Mother Earth… misleading verbs… “move forward”, “advance”, “proceed”… “evolve”… Clarke Gable, Marlon Brando… Looney Tunes… Wife of the Above… Planet of the Apes…
Ain’t going nowhere – don’t you see?
- JAM
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